


Your Dearest and Oldest Frenemy

by Jay_Spank



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Letter, M/M, What's new, heaven sucks, just Aziraphale being sad, love letter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-04-23 19:50:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19157806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jay_Spank/pseuds/Jay_Spank
Summary: Crowley finds a letter Aziraphale wrote to him during the century he slept, but never intended him to read.Spoiler: Crowley reads it.





	Your Dearest and Oldest Frenemy

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like my time frame is super off, but also I wanted to write this. So here I go. 
> 
> Enjoy!

  
The two had just got done with dinner, at the ritz no less. It had become a ritual between him and the angel to dine there for almost a century. Yet if you asked him how the food was he would lie and give a terrible review. In reality the demon had never actually eaten any meal at the place, besides an angel food cake from time to time strictly for ironic purposes. He went because Aziraphale loved it, and if the angel loved it, it was okay with him, as long as it served alcohol of some sort he was happy. Aziraphale had, as always, invited him over to his shop to drink wine and talk that would most likely last well into the night and into the early morning. This ritual, really this thing between the two of them, was becoming more and more frequent ever since the almost-apocalypse. It’s not like Crowley had minded. In fact, they were often a highlight of his day. Not like he would ever admit that to the angel, but he had a suspicion, really he knew, that it was the same for Aziraphale too. The demon smiled at the thought, and sat down at the angel’s rather messy desk.  
  
“Your desk is a pigsty, angel,” Crowley yelled above. The angel was getting his favorite Tuesday wine from his flat.  
  
“It is clean!” Azirphale had yelled back.  
  
“No it’s not!”  
  
“Yes it is!”  
  
“There’s at least three cups of old hot coco!”  
  
“Oh shut up!”  
  
Crowley laughed. The angel was ridiculous, but he was quite fond of it. Crowley looked down at the desk and then frowned. It was very messy. Does the angel put anything in a drawer? He had plenty of them. Crowley rolled his eyes and opened the center drawer of the desk. If he was going to be hanging here more often, he might as well help clean. Yet before he could do any cleaning, in the middle of the drawer was an extremely yellowed envelope marked Crowely.  
Interesting.  
  
This was quite interesting. He quickly looked at the stairwell. The angel was not on his way down and knowing how easy he loses things, it would probably be a while. It wasn’t defying his friend’s trust if it was addressed to him? Right? He ripped open the envelope and pulled out an equally yellowed letter.  
  
  
_Dear Crowley,_  
_It’s been a bit. A long bit, I might add. I believe the last time was that dreadful situation with the holy water. I still stand by not giving it to you. I’m an angel and I can’t give anyone the means to destroy themselves, demon or not. I know I left angry and we both said things that were not very nice. Which maybe this is naive of me, but I assumed that we would be over it by now. I thought we’d be talking. Water under the bridge and all, but it’s not I suppose. You have not made any effort and neither have I. We’ve always been rather stubborn. It’s just I haven’t even seen you around SoHo at all, or any demonic activity. You might not even reside in London anymore. Who knows? I certainly don’t._  
  
_I guess writing this to you is rather silly. I won’t be able to send it to you, nor did I ever plan on sending it anyway. Humans would call it some form of psychotherapy. I call it ridiculous, but here I am, continuing to write this letter with the full intention of finishing it._  
  
_I guess what I want to say is that I miss you. I miss you Crowley. An angel misses a demon. A point for your side indeed. It’s just no one understands humanity. Angels view humans as stupid little mice running through god’s maze, and nothing more. They don’t understand how beautiful humans can be. Gabriel could have never thought up crepes, or family, or first edition books, or what love means. What love really means. Gabriel and every other angel know the definition of it. They know God’s love, which is respect all creatures, unless it interferes with the eneefabble plan. I guess that’s fine. It is fine. It’s what God wants, I assume. I have that love too. I really do, but when I see a mother’s eyes when she holds her baby for the first time, the entangled fingers of lovers on an evening stroll, or even the shared banter between to old friends at lunch, there’s so much more to love than they even know. They don’t know the beauty of it. Of all the choices humans have, and how so many choose love. The beauty that makes staying here for me, possible, and I know it’s the same for you, too._  
  
_Oscar and I talked about this very thing. The beauty of things. To create to just create. The purest thing a human can do and achieve. He was so fun. I think you’d would have liked him. I have a couple first signed editions of some of his works, I’ll let you read if by chance I see you again. He was so funny and smart Crowely. Why the first time I ever talked to the man I just knew he’d make history, and yes, maybe some minor miracles were performed to ensure that, but that’s besides the point. He was brilliant Crowley. So brilliant._  
  
_It made not seeing you a little easier. He even liked wine as much as you. Which is truly a statement to be made. But he’s not here anymore. Oscar is in prison, and I doubt after he’s done he’ll remain here. I don’t know what will happen to him and I know it won’t be good. Really, this whole situation is awful. I guess it’s just another reminder that while humanity can be beautiful, it can be so dreadfully ugly. He was just a man in love. It just happened to be he was in love with another man and people don’t much like that now a days. I would like to think heaven doesn’t mind. I know I don’t mind, but the longer I’m on Earth the more I realize that Heaven and I are quite different._  
  
_It scares me, Crowley. It scares me so much that sometimes I can hardly bring myself to do this anymore. The idea of falling or being smited by heaven because of who I choose to be makes me sick. Sometimes I think how if I just went back to heaven, ignoring everything I learned and loved on Earth, and just acted like an angel, a true angel, how easier it would be. To just be able to exist and be safe, but that would be a rather dreadful existent wouldn’t it? My fear would just be replaced with an all consuming loneliness. I’ll never do, but I cannot deny the temptation. Besides, I have too much food to try and books to read for that nonsense._  
  
_Plus, another point to your side, I would miss you far too much. You are really the only one to truly understands me, not like I would ever tell you this in real life. I have a certain type of fondness towards you that scares me. I wish it wasn’t there, but it is. It happens every time you slither into my mind and it never goes away. I am a rather rubbish angel, aren’t I? I don’t know if you feel the sameway. To be honest, I don’t know if you’re even capable of this sort of feeling. It’s okay, you being not able to recuperate this feeling helps me in the long run, score one for heaven. We’re on opposing sides, naturally born enemies, but I guess we can push the line to frenemies, this is a new term I’ve been working on. I quite like it._

_____ _

__

  
_From your dearest and oldest frenemy,_

__

 

 _Aziraphale_  
  
Before Crowley had anytime to process what he had just read, he could hear the angel coming down the staircase. He quickly folded the letter and stuffed it in his back pocket.  
  


“ Now this is a sweet white from 1907 I’ve been saving for--” The angel stopped talking and gave a very concerning look to the demon. “Why Crowley my dear, is everything all right? You looked like seen a ghost or something!”  
  
The demon stuck his hand in his back pocket, feeling the letter, and gave Aziraphale a smile.  
  
“Everything is alright angel. In fact, it’s wonderful.”


End file.
